ETX couple shares secret to keeping long-lasting marriage

Keeping the flames burring in marriage.
Keeping the flames burring in marriage.
Patricia Lynch, Licensed Professional Counselor
Patricia Lynch, Licensed Professional Counselor
Kendrick and Davina Morris, married 10 years.
Kendrick and Davina Morris, married 10 years.

LUFKIN, TX (KTRE) - Falling in love -- it's the easy part of the relationship. The sweet kisses, holding hands, and intimate gestures all seem to create a feeling that you and your significant other are floating on cloud nine.

You finally recite those wedding vows, saying, 'I do.' Life is bliss.

Then fast forward and you suddenly see those fiery flames of love becoming dim. What happened? What do you do?

Licensed therapist Pat Lynch, with Crossover Counseling, sees this all the time. She notices couples losing some of the most important factors in their relationship, causing it to suffer.
"Communication seems to be lacking in marriages and I think that is one of the big things," Lynch said.

She adds, she encourages couples to think about the sanctity of marriage. "They need to realize that it is a life commitment."

To honor the commitment will require a lot from both partners. "Keep it fresh. They need to think about the other one, what pleases the other one, what are things we can do different that we [couples] don't get in a rut with our marriage," says Lynch.

Almost 10 years married, and two kids later, Kendrick and Davina Morris know quite a bit about keeping their marriage fresh.

"I still get butterflies in my stomach when I talk about her or when I see her. It's the same with her. You'll see her get flush," Kendrick explains while looking at his wife.

"That's one of our mottos, is that if we can spend enough on work, on school, on everybody else, than we can save enough energy for us to be together, Davina adds.

That energy fuels the Lufkin couple's relationship.

Kendrick said, "[There's] a certain amount of energy that we never give to anybody else. It's not available for anybody else but Davina and but Kendrick."

You could look at these two, at each wearing purple to match, and snuggled close together on the couch, and think there's no way between balancing careers, kids, school, church ministry, and life they can still act like dating teenagers.

Kendrick is the pastor of Harvest Family Worship Center of East Texas in Lufkin.

The couple says their kind of intimate love didn't happen overnight. In fact, they say love is easy; knowing how to love can be tricky.

"People always think they know how to love someone, you don't." Kendrick adds, "You learn that over years, years of being together, years of communication, trial and error, it's ever evolving."

That's part of what keeps the flames going.

Lynch adds, "Remember the things that pleased the other one when they were going out before marriage, and remember to do some of those things."

Keeping the flames burning also means finding new ways to spend time with each other. Therapist Pat Lynch, recommends couples have a date night, once a week. It can be something simple like a nice intimate dinner at a restaurant, or maybe a movie night.

Let's say you're on a budget, it doesn't always have to be about going out. The most important thing to do is focus on spending quality time with one another, alone.

Kendrick explains, "You don't have to go anywhere for it to be date night. You know sometimes you're right there at the house. The kids are in the bed. Turn the phones off and [your] eyes are on each other."

In their relationship the couple says the smallest gestures makes the biggest impressions.

"He does little romantic things like he'll text me throughout the day, or calls me to say, 'Hey how's your day going?' I just called to tell you 'I love you' or something like that, and it just lets me know I'm always on his mind," said Davina.

The Morris' say happiness always equals something new.

"When that freshness is still in your heart, it may not be the same thing you did when you were dating, but it is always something new," Kendrick said.

When it's new, it will never let the eternal flames of marriage extinguish.

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